


i found my heart up in this place tonight

by mauede



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Discussions of sexuality, M/M, just lots of fluff and comfort basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 03:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11477337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mauede/pseuds/mauede
Summary: "Is that- is that maybe what you’re saying?" Isak questions.*in which isak and even talk about, and reveal, their sexualities.





	i found my heart up in this place tonight

**Author's Note:**

> sooo this is a thing? I was thinking about isak's pride IG post and how far they've come and then I thought about the conversations they've had about sexuality and how they would've first told one another their identities and this came out of me
> 
> title is from your song by rita ora since I listened to it gratuitously while these boys were fumbling through this conversation
> 
> note: there's reference to the conversation the boys had on sexuality but it is in no way a comprehensive definition for pansexuality in this fic
> 
> enjoy!

"Hey, Even," Isak prompts, interrupting the relative silence.

"Hey, Isak," Even replies back, glancing up at Isak. It's mid-January and they've been working in tandem silently on schoolwork, Even sitting against the wall at the head of Isak's bed with Isak splayed out on his stomach at the foot. When Even looks up it's clear that Isak hasn't been studying for a while, however. Instead, he's drawing out shapes on his duvet, intermittently furrowing his brow. At this observation, Even places his books off to the side and gives Isak his full attention.

"I," Isak begins clearing his throat, "I've been wondering about something."

"Okay, shoot," Even easily replies. 

Isak glances up briefly before staring back down at the duvet. It's times like these, when Isak's visibly nervous, that he resembles the same boy who just a few months ago couldn't hold Even's eye. Even takes notice of this and shuffles over to Isak. "Hey, you." 

Sitting closer to Isak, Even starts rubbing small circles onto his back. Isak relaxes slightly at this touch, leaning into Even's space. Isak begins again, "I was wondering. You know, you dated Sonja."

"Yes, I do recall," Even quips, interrupting Isak. 

"Even," Isak mutters out exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. He throws a narrow-eyed look up at Even that has him giving off a surrender sign before laughing softly, ushering for Isak to continue.

"Okay, sorry. Yes? Me and Sonja. Go on." 

Isak takes in a deep breath before letting it back out slowly. "You said you guys were together for four years. That's quite a long time, so, I guess what I'm wondering is. Did you love her?" Isak glances up, holding Even's gaze. 

This gives Even pause. He thinks for a minute before slowly asking, "So, you're wondering if our relationship was real?"

"No, no! No, of course not," Isak sighs. "I'm just wondering how serious you were. Y'know, like, if there was anything in it for you," he trails off looking unsure.

Oh. _Oh._

Even almost laughs, endeared when he works out what Isak’s been getting at. "Isak, are you asking me about my sexuality?" Even questions in faux-incredulity.

Isak’s cheeks turn slightly pink as he scratches absently under his cap. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you guys were together for such a long time and that seems like, I don't know, a while to keep up an act?"

Even's quiet for a while, and Isak's worried he's offended him, before he finally speaks up. "Yes, I did love Sonja. She was my first serious relationship. Even though things got complicated towards the end, I did love her."

Isak nods. "So, you were attracted to her, then?" 

That startles a laugh out of Even. "Well, I'd hope so." 

Isak still looks too serious for Even's liking so he decides to try another route. He reaches for Isak's sleeve and pulls him up into a sitting position. Isak grumbles slightly but complies, rising up, folding his legs under himself and facing Even.

"Listen, Isak. I don't really put too much weight into who I'm with." Even's lip purse. "Obviously I notice it, and it means something to me, but it's also unimportant? I'm open to anything and attracted to whomever," Even shrugs.

At these words, Isak’s memory flashes back to the first time he told the boys about Even. 

_"Yeah, but maybe he's pansexual. … It's when you like both."_

“You know, back in November, I had a conversation with the boys,” Isak starts.

“It was the first time I told them about you, actually,” Even raises his brows at this information.

“It turned into talking about these things, you know,” Isak waves his hand between himself and Even, “and Mahdi, actually, mentioned something called pansexuality?” his voice raises slightly at the end, still unsure discussing concepts he doesn’t quite fully understand yet.

"Is that- is that maybe what you’re saying?" Isak questions.

Even smiles, equal parts touched and impressed. He gives a silent thank you the boys before replying, "Yes, that's how I identify." 

There’s a loaded silence for a moment before-

"Cool. I'm gay," Isak relays flippantly. The unceremonious way in which Isak relays this information attempts to give off an air of unaffectedness but Even knows better. Watching Isak right now pretend as if making such a statement doesn’t matter has Even unsure if Isak's ever said those particular words aloud before.

"Isak. Look at me," Even says softly but firmly. Isak turns his attention back to Even who reaches over, taking Isak's face in his hands. Even holds his gaze steadily. "Thank you for telling me." 

Isak's eyes well involuntarily a little at this statement. Isak rubs at his nose trying to shrug the praise off before responding, "I mean- it's not really a big deal, I just wanted you to know since you told me and,”

Even leans forward swiftly, pressing a firm kiss to Isak’s lips and then just off to the side, effectively cutting him off. When he leans back, Isak looks dazed, unable to control a pleased grin from taking over his face. Even’s responding grin is just as bright. "It _is_ a big deal and I'm touched that you told me. Thank you.”

Isak stares at Even as if searching for something in his response and he apparently finds it, giving a satisfied nod a few moments later. Even rubs his thumbs over Isak’s cheeks a few times. "I'm glad we had this conversation." 

"Me, too," Isak whispers placing one of his hands over Even's and squeezing.

Even releases Isak's face, taking his hand and guiding them both up to the top of Isak's bed. They settle eventually, Isak nestling into Even's side. They’re still for a few moments before Even turns his face, lining up their noses just so and rubbing them together. Even feels Isak’s smile before he moves away again. Their school books lay scattered, forgotten along the bed, work abandoned for the day but Even thinks they've made enough progress for one day anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> it's my personal headcanon that even though for all intents and purposes by this point isak is out, even is the first person he says "I'm gay" to <3
> 
> I don't own SKAM or any of the characters etc


End file.
